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Inside Arran's factory on Xoolian Major, Cilla, Madame Deephole,
Gamak, Jake, Snyder, Turnidus, Yztabub and Zalia wonder how
to deal with the Retsab threat. Meanwhile, on board the Nick
of Time, Caelys, Cindy, Frag, Major Grondlepuss, Hywel
and Violet are held hostage by Dr Proctor - half octopus,
half human, all lesbian...
How
do you end the sprawling saga that is Soldiers of Love,
which was originally intended as a ten-episode series but
eventually grew into a fourteen-part one, a saga that deals
with up to fifteen diverse characters at a time? The answer,
in Mark J Thompson's view, would appear to be: end it several
times over.
Tracks
5-7 all seem to bring the story to a conclusion, only for
the familiar theme music to grind to a halt with the sound
of a stylus skidding across the surface of a vinyl record
(funny how that archetypal joke still works in this digital
age). After each of these "endings", members of the cast complain
that the resolution is either too neat or too untidy. Blake's
7 fans will appreciate Jacqueline Pearce's comment: "You
name me one quality British science-fiction series that ended
with an unresolved cliffhanger." (Actually, I can think of
one more: Sapphire and Steel.)
Meanwhile,
Doctor Who fans can listen out for some familiar lines
from a couple of the show's better-known episode endings.
The
characters begin to become self-aware even before the various
counterfeit conclusions have commenced - as early as track
2, when Dr Proctor (Niall Stuchfield) agrees to divulge her
own origins and those of Chickenskin, "but only for the sake
of narrative completion." Personally, I don't much care for
the way in which the actors step outside of their characters,
but I suppose there's no real reason to consider this development
any sillier than, say, the presence of a six-foot sentient
spider, a giant chicken or a half-octopus/half-human lesbian
played by a man!
But
is the conclusion satisfactory? Well, I don't want to give
too much away, but after several phoney happy and sad endings,
one finds oneself appreciating the fact that, whichever type
of ending Mark J Thompson had settled upon, there would probably
have been a regretful element of "if only" about it: "if only
it had been happier" or "if only it hadn't been so tidy and
convenient". At least this way, the listener gets a taste
of some of those "if only"s.
Thank
you, MJTV, it's been one hell of a trip!
Richard
McGinlay
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