Risa, planet of passion and persuasion where the drink is
strong, the seas blue and warm and every visitor is guaranteed
the vacation of a lifetime. Unless, of course, you're a crew
member onboard Enterprise on shore leave...
Days and Two Nights actually feels quite a lot longer
thanks to a plot that has Trip and Malcolm getting tricked
by two beautiful women who are not quite what they seem, Archer
getting involved with a woman and her dog [the dog's okay
but her owner!] and Hoshi getting a shag from a dull alien
with lumps on his forehead. And all the while there's a fantastic
comedy plot about the doctor entering hibernation. Oh, how
dull, plotless tosh had me wishing for Klingon opera or a
spell in a Vulcan monastery studying the works of their greatest
philosophers. Either would have been more fun than Two
Days and Two Nights. Remind me never to go to Risa - it
to an ill-fitting plasma duct, Enterprise apparently kills
the inhabitants of a planet. But it's a plot from the future
to destabilise the present and the dead man from scene 64
returns to warn Archer that dark forces are afoot. People
start to look serious - even ensign Mayweather stops grinning
like a man on full strength happy powders - but before you
can say "wake me when it's over" Archer is trapped in the
future with no way home...
so the first season reaches its conclusion. Will it be war
with the Suliban? Will it be the end of the Enterprise mission?
Will T'Pol stop pouting? Nearly, perhaps and no.
was so uninteresting that I can't remember it and those few
fragments that did lodge made for frighteningly grim viewing.
But hey! Who needs a plot, comprehensible dialogue or structure
when you have time travel? Clearly not Enterprise.
This fetid pile of old dingo's kidneys ends Enterprise,
season one, with barely a whimper.
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