Graveyard Shift

Starring: Stephen Macht, Kelly Wolf, David Andrews and Brad Dourif
RRP: £5.99
C820 8560
Certificate: 18
Available now

Gates Fall, an isolated small-town community witnesses the reopening of its decrepit textile mill. Sitting next to a cemetery and abandoned for years, the site has fallen into decay and is now only home to a horde of rats. After the mill beings operation again, a team of workers ventures into the basement to clean it. But what seems like a routine job turns into an unimaginable nightmare as, in the dead of night, the group discover themselves to be in the presence of an utterable horror...

Er... yes! Or something like that. Horror films are always tricky to pull off. If you don't have the budget and you want to have a rubber monster, your film is not going to be very scary is it? However, if you show nothing of the beast and imply that it's scary, then you might just pull it off.

Somebody should have mentioned this to the director of Graveyard Shift. The beast in question - I doubt I'm spoiling anything here - is a huge rat that has spent years feeding on the bodies in the graveyard. Or at least that is what I deduced from not very many clues. It seems to be a cross between a bat and a rat, but to be quite honest it could have been Vanessa Feltz in a Lycra body vest (now there's an idea for a horror movie) for all the interest it generates.

I doubt you'll give a toss about most of the characters - with the possible exception of Brad Dourif's much under used exterminator character - they are all total wasters.

So I'm left thinking of something nice to say... erm... I had a nice Texas Bar-B-Q pizza from Domino's at lunch time... Will that do?

Avoid this film at all costs!

Nick Smithson

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