Mark And Lard's Football Hell

Presenters: Mark and Lard
Universal Pictures (UK) Ltd
RRP: £15.99
Certificate: PG
Available 11 November 2004

Mark Radcliffe and Marc Riley are best known as Mark and Lard, who until March 2004 kept legions of listeners entertained every weekday afternoon on Radio One. Now the double act are reunited for a look at the world of football...

Both devoted Man City fans, Mark & Lard have got plenty to say when it comes to their favourite sport and Mark and Lard's Football Hell present clips of own goals, gaffs, bad misses, bad haircuts and general travesties of football.

This release is full of dodgy tackles, dirty tricks, camp Brazilian referees and very suspect half time entertainment. Strikers, defenders, referees and goalies are all held up to ridicule while Mark and Lard ponder the great unanswered questions of football such as why are there never any female streakers? From kids' football and scuffles on the pitch to giving the low-down on their favourite fashion faux pas, Mark & Lard present their all time top ten own goals, top ten misses plus referees on the receiving end.

Highlights include some bloke - God knows who as he isn't credited - comparing winning to "pulling a good looking bird." But he doesn't stop there, he goes on about taking her back to his hotel room and then tries to dig himself out of trouble when he realises his wife might see the interview. Also worth watching is the camp exhibitionist Brazilian referee, who really puts on a show for the crowds; a tornado that starts during a kids football match in Japan; Barbados scoring a deliberate home goal in order to move the game into extra time in order to win the match; and a bunch of Dutch tone deaf mingers singing on the pitch as part of the half-time entertainment.

The video is mainly a collection of home goals and shots that never hit their mark, however there are just as many minutes devoted to Mark and Lard's intros than of the football clips.

A good gift for that hard to buy for football fan, but at only an hour in length, this is a pretty pricey release that only has a handful of entertaining clips.

Nick Smithson

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